Let’s talk about Sex with Stephanie Smith
Welcome to Let’s talk about Sex with Stephanie Smith, the podcast that’s here to help you create a healthy and kick-ass sex life. Stephanie Smith, your no-nonsense sex educator and relationship guru, is ready to dive headfirst into the wild world of human sexuality, intimacy and relationships with a healthy dose of humor and a whole lot of sass. From bedroom communication to exploring your wildest fantasies, Stephanie‘s got the tips, tricks and expert interviews to help you unleash your inner sex god or goddess. So, buckle up and get ready to laugh learn and maybe blush a little as we turn up the heat and spice, things up in the bedroom and beyond!
❤️ SS
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Let’s talk about Sex with Stephanie Smith
Sex Talk A-Z with Shiloh Hobby with Love Your O...... Let's start with A for ANAL!
These are recorded Live events- no editing just pure unadulterated, unfiltered FUN! Catch us LIVE Tuesdays at 10am PST on the Tube, Big I, The FB or the link in bio!
Starting with-Anal Sex
Are you ready to strip away the stigma and dive into a world of sexual enlightenment? That's what you'll get as my fabulous guest Shiloh and I, Stephanie, embark on a no-holds-barred journey through the pleasures and practicalities of anal play, starting with 'A' for anal. We're busting myths wide open and spreading the truth about protection and HIV transmission risks, all while keeping it cheeky and light-hearted.
This episode isn't just about debunking the taboos; it's a treasure trove of tips for safe and sensational backdoor adventures. We get real about the importance of communication, the magic of relaxation, and how a touch too much liquor can derail the fun. You'll get the lowdown on anatomy, particularly that muscle that everyone's afraid to stretch, and we lay out the facts on hygiene that'll keep things spick and span for everyone involved. Women, we're looking at you, too—ditch the shame and discover how exploring this final frontier can lead to astronomical pleasure!
Finally, we shine a spotlight on the joy button that men might be neglecting—yes, gentlemen, we're talking about your prostate. Shiloh and I reveal the orgasmic and health benefits that come with a bit of exploration down under. From cultural attitudes to practical how-tos, you'll be equipped with everything you need to potentially tap into a new realm of ecstasy. Whether you're in a relationship or playing solo, let's get comfortable with getting a little uncomfortable and redefine what it means to get down and dirty.
#sextalka-z #analsex #shilohhobby #loveyourO
12/30/23
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Thank you for joining me on today's podcast. I intend the information provided may have resonated with you today. If so, please like- follow and subscribe, I would love if you would write a review, send me a message on what topic you would like me to cover on the show and feel free to check out ALL my other social media (link is EVERYWHERE)! Come back for more fun and learning! Thank you for ALL the support!
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Well, you know, it's a good thing that I'm very new to this and we're testing it out and look at, I didn't do so bad, you did not Winning.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna say winning.
Speaker 1:Well, okay, you know, I'm so happy that we're starting our lives today, Tuesday On the 19th of March. What a beautiful day. Happy birthday, cousin. I love you, my cousin Karen. Happy birthday and happy birthday to anybody else who's out there. So we'll start seeing comments and people joining and All right, so, thank you. We're back here today to talk let's talk about sex. I am Stephanie, your host, and I have Shiloh hobby with love, your, oh, thank you, shiloh, for joining me.
Speaker 2:Hi, stephanie, thank you for having me. I'm super excited to be here.
Speaker 1:And, of course, the funniest topic is sex talk a to z, love. That that's so cool. I mean, here's the deal, no one's. I mean people are starting to talk about sex. It's starting to come out and it's awesome. So if we can just take on one topic at a time a to z and, like we talked about today we could do after sex talk, we could just do BDM, bdsm, a to z, all those other ones to really help educating people, because that's really what we're about. And what. People want to know.
Speaker 2:People want to know.
Speaker 1:It's so funny because, ok, I'm out. On the other night I went out by myself. My mom said, for St Patty's Day, go, go out by yourself, meet some friends, have a beer. I had the best time. I went by myself. I left with 12 friends some marriage proposals, some FD WB proposals, other proposals. So much fun. And I will tell you everyone, we were talking about sex. I said, oh, we're going to be talking about sex live. And they're like, and everyone's eyes are like, really, really like. People want to know and they're afraid to ask. They're afraid to ask. So, yes, they want to.
Speaker 1:You can ask us anything, and so you can ask us anything Anyone. I know people are shy, you know, so we may not have very many. So here I'm going to ask you some things, because today today we're doing a is our alphabet for the day. I wish I could do a for alphabet. I'm going to have to get some kind of a for anal, a for anal A for anal A is renal Anal sex. I love it. It's like if we're going to start, let's start out with a bang.
Speaker 2:Right, I mean let's just get. I mean we're going to get right down and dirty here and let's just talk about the hard stuff.
Speaker 1:I love it Okay, but I have some myths and I want to. I want your help here. Hold on.
Speaker 2:All right, let's talk about some myths real quick, and then we'll tell you the real stuff.
Speaker 1:Okay, cool. So people? This is a myth. People say people who enjoy anal sex are perverted or wereverted like we are warverts or they're abnormal.
Speaker 2:I mean, I guess, first and foremost, I mean, sex is a judgment-free zone, you know, to each their own. Everybody likes what they like, and anal sex is just another form of sex. It's another orgasm waiting to happen for everyone.
Speaker 1:And that's the thing another orgasm waiting to happen. I think, when people say, are you a pervert or you're a warvert or whatever that is, you know, because girls are warverts, as we know, and guys they call our perverts. That's what I heard on Slut Ever. I love her, carly. Anyway, my point is that you know what? There's so many variations and that's what I learned when I went to San Francisco State University studying variations in human sexuality, and that was what started my whole life of wanting to do this.
Speaker 1:I saw it all. I mean guys that liked got turned on by a pie being thrown in his face and he brought the pies for us to do All different kinds of things. I mean, I could go on and on and on, Even weird little fetishes and things like that, in which you know, I know Carly covers a lot. We will be covering some. To me. It's all in the eyes of what we know and how willing are we allowed to let our bodies get to where we really want to be, which is fully free and open to have a truly amazing sexual experience. We're just not taught that. So, thank you, you're right. Okay, we're not taught that. Oh, anal sex is a sure way to get HIV.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean unprotected sex is a sure way to get HIV. So I mean you know, I guess that, taking it in context, I mean you know, doesn't matter which hole you put it in If you have HIV and you're sharing it with your partner. And unprotected sex, unprotected sex, unprotected sex.
Speaker 1:Right Now. I know the studies show that. You know, in the anus the membranes are a little bit more softer or more delicate, so when they break and the transmission of disease, I get all that. I mean, I worked with AIDS patients for the first five years of going to college. But my point is you're right, you can get it anyway, and that is called a myth for a reason.
Speaker 2:You know it's, you know it's fed on. You know the, the scared thing. I mean. You know when it did you know when the AIDS epidemic it started it did start with homosexual men. So, that is where that you know myth came from. But ultimately, no, you don't have to be any sexual orientation to you know, have unprotected sex and contract HIV AIDS.
Speaker 1:Exactly Any any.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1:And that's why talking about the myth, because we are in a world of what we only know, what we know, and we tell that to our kids and to the people around us. And when we know more, we do better. And so now, if we can teach people, we can do better in life. You know, that's how I look at it. Absolutely, we don't need to use condoms during anal sex if you're in a monogamous relationship.
Speaker 2:Well, okay, so I'm not going to call that a myth no-transcript. What I will say is that, in regards to condoms, you know, when you're having anal sex, it is a good protection to use that, especially since, going back and forth, you don't want to have, you don't want to go back to penis and vagina sex after you've had penis and anal sex because you're spreading feces. So that's where the purpose of a condom can come into play, because if you use condom when you're having, when you're having anal sex, then you remove it and the penis is still clean. You can go back to penis and anal sex.
Speaker 1:So but the other one you could do. Just FYI, you could also go clean up, which I've seen. Oh great, you can clean up.
Speaker 2:You just don't want to go back and forth immediately. Yes, you can go clean up, but you. The thing is, you want to make sure that you're cleaning up, you're clean.
Speaker 1:Love it and you're so right because that's perfect. Okay, here's a myth Anal sex cannot lead to orgasm.
Speaker 2:Wrong. Oh, that's a big old myth. That's a big old myth. That's a big old false. So, yes, there's all kinds of amazing orgasms that can come out of that. So, yeah, I think we're male and female. For both, I think we should talk about anal sex.
Speaker 1:Okay, we're going to be doing that.
Speaker 2:Let's stop talking about myths and start talking about gross.
Speaker 1:All right, so let's okay. So then why? Okay? I know it's pleasurable, so why do people find it scary but pleasurable?
Speaker 2:So I mean I think that you know most females are most female, most anybody that's had the penis and vagina sex. There's been that slip up, and that slip up was completely and everybody just kind of cringed I know you did because you've all had it and you're like, oh my God, were you just like Wrong, what's up? Scary.
Speaker 1:Scary.
Speaker 2:That's very you know. So when you think about that, it's like, um no, because that's the immediate thought that comes into your mind when you think about that. Right, I mean, if you've never done a before or you've never willingly done it, that's what you're thinking about 100% you're remembering that time. It's PTSD and it is. Rightfully so, because it should hurt it hurt, it hurt, it hurt it hurt. There was no preparation, it hurt so and you go, huh.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that's the memory everyone has and and ultimately, though you know it is taboo, it is, you know, and even historically speaking you know we'll get into some fun historical facts later on but you know, even historically speaking, it's always been, you know, kind of taboo. It's never been something that is just like Okay, you're doing that and you know it's not. No, no, it's becoming more recently, you know, although, interestingly enough, it is becoming more popular among the younger sex people, the teenagers, and what oh why they are having. They do that instead of P and B to avoid pregnancy or, as we were discussing, to keep their virginity intact.
Speaker 1:Right, I was mentioning to you that I had a gentleman that was dating a girl and she was in college though she had never had sex and said, hey, I only do anal. And he's like what? Like you? Only what he goes. Yeah, I only do anal because I'm going to be a virgin for my husband, and he's like, oh, okay, so yeah, I think that's very interesting. I think you're right, people are using that as another form.
Speaker 2:I think there's more people that are having it. They don't talk about it because it is a taboo. Yeah, and so that's why we're here today, too, to talk about it, because let's talk about it so you can do safely.
Speaker 1:What are the key things to keep in mind for a safe and enjoyable experience?
Speaker 2:So initially, first, you know communication, you want to. You know this isn't something you're just going to decide that you're going to do. You need to. There's also preparation to this. But you want to talk to your, you want to talk to your partner about this. You're not just going to do this.
Speaker 1:This is not just like hey we're doing this.
Speaker 2:That's not happening Like you need to. You need to have a conversation with them prior to make sure that they're that they're on the same page with doing this and trying this. You know, you know, have a glass of wine. You know relax. Relaxation is for this. You want to make sure that you're very relaxed. Please don't be trashed. You don't want to be drunk. You want to remember. Plus, you want to be safe and you know drinking leads to unsafe activities, especially on this. So don't try. You know when you're drunk.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah, it could lead to some not so pleasant experiences, yeah why he wouldn't feel the pain until the next day, and then it could be really pain.
Speaker 2:Right, it could be. Yeah, you could definitely do some damage if you're not, especially if you're not used to it. You know you don't.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And it's your first time. I mean, yeah, you don't want to experiment with it. You know being drunk, but yeah, that's the one or two.
Speaker 2:You know, just be relaxed. You know just that. Because the tensor you are, the more things hurt. Because because, ultimately, you know the reason why anal sex, anal play, hurts so much is because the sphincter muscle is designed to keep everything up. So it keeps all of your organs up, yeah, your intestines, your stomach, all of that is is kept up and it doesn't fall out because sphincter muscles they're keeping it all in. Interesting, because I mean you think about, you think about the body and how it works. I mean your waist is coming out, yeah. So you know you have the sphincter muscle very, very tight. So relaxation is key. You want to be relaxed, you want communication to happen. Lubrication is the other shun word that we need. So we have preparation, communication, lubrication.
Speaker 1:Okay, well, let's talk about the prep work. So we got the communication down, we're going to sit down, we're going to have a conversation about how we're going to do this and in that conversation we're going to talk about prep. What does that look like?
Speaker 2:So you know, I mean you know, you definitely want to. You know, I think one of the big things that comes up is, you know, obviously the mess, right, I mean you're, we're talking about that, we're talking about the rack down. This is where the poop comes out.
Speaker 1:So it's not a very pleasant area, but if it's cleaned out, before you do.
Speaker 2:But so I mean there's. There are some things. So one, most natural If you use the restroom, you have your, you have your bowel movement and when you wipe, if it's clean, your tract is clean. If you have any residue on there, if you have any residue whatsoever on there, your tract is not clean. But okay, no residue, it's clean. Amazingly enough, the body, the human body, is an amazing, amazing machine. Y'all.
Speaker 2:You know we know that, we know that the vagina is self cleaning and kind of does its own, you know, takes care of everything down there and and takes, yes, balancing everything out and making everything amazing, right, well, the rectum is kind of the same way, you know, and the fact of like it does actually, it's actually very clean. Yeah, I was actually surprised to hear that, because it was just like so, like you're like it's so disgusting.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Okay, all right, so, but anyhow, yeah, so fun facts Also so. And then you know if the track isn't clean, if so, if you're worried, so you know. And if you are worried, I mean I will say you know there's always going to be, you know, the chance of there's being some feces, I mean in your backdoor play. This is what you're messing with, right?
Speaker 2:This is what you're hoping for there's also, but there are also the anal duchess, which is essentially just taking water and like shooting up your butt to rinse it all out and clean it all out. So there's that, so you can also do that to. You know, be extra, extra, yeah, so Okay, that's good, okay, so we got the prep down.
Speaker 2:We got the prep. So you're gonna talk to your partner about this and you know, prep it up, it was so yes, so you're gonna say your communication, you want to talk to your partner, you want to let them know. You know, first and foremost, you know when you're thinking about trying to talk to anybody into doing anything that you want to try is you want to play up the benefits for them, right? So Absolutely.
Speaker 1:And so here's. The thing is that I you're really this is good, because a lot of women would not in their brain because of the PTSD that we had. Does not correlate that to fun, to oh yeah, I'm gonna have pleasure at when you're doing that, that that they're.
Speaker 2:Oh, and they've seen porn, yeah. And then like I mean, you know, and they're like no, like there's no way in the world that anybody is going to do that to me.
Speaker 1:So I mean, honestly, we've done a really horrible job at showing women that they don't want to do this shit.
Speaker 2:So no, I mean you know, it's kind of out there. So OK. So well, why for women? So should we talk about women or men first? Well, let's talk about women first.
Speaker 1:No, because I want to talk about men and I love that you want to talk about that, because I'm big on the prostate massage, for and I'm big on that. But but back to the female, because I want to get them more relaxed about wanting to at least try it, ok. So here's, here's a prep that I think that you I'd love you to mention, if they can work on not getting that in their mind and then maybe they work on numbing that area.
Speaker 2:So there are not necessarily numbing, but there are relaxation creams that do work and that help with and that will help with relaxing that muscle to make it more comfortable.
Speaker 1:I heard oral gel.
Speaker 2:Ok Swear, somebody says oral gel, I'm like all right, I know that I would want oral gel on my vote, OK.
Speaker 1:I've done it. I've done it. It was fine, it numbed it and my point is that just relax yourself, you know relaxing.
Speaker 2:You know I like the and actually like I will say you know, not a plug for any brands or anything but pure romance has a booty ease which is a relaxing cream and it is I. I think in comparison to some of the other brands out on the market, you love it Much better. Ok, from a relaxed standpoint, so that's great. Just a thought on that.
Speaker 1:But OK, and we're, and she's not selling, we're just telling you yes. So If that's a great one, hold on one more Cation Lubrication. Sorry, I beeped out for a minute.
Speaker 2:Oh, lubrication is very, very important. So here's the thing about lubrication yes, and the one thing that the key factor about lubrication that you need to keep in mind is that not all lubrication is is equal. Not all lubrication is created the same. There are two separate, there are two different kinds of lubrication. So here's our quick lubrication and everyone. So we have a normal, everyday play, great for water, water based lubricant. The other type of lubricant that we have is our silicon lubricant. Silicon based lubricant is going to stay on top of the tissues, whereas a water based tissue or water based lubricant is going to absorb into the tissues. You do not want your lubricant to absorb into your tissues if you are having water, if you are having anal play, the reason being is it will dry up and it will not be comfortable, right?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:More lubrication is always better. So a silicon lubricant is definitely your best bet. It is going to stay on top of the tissue. It is not going to absorb in. It is going to make it much, make it slippery, like it should be. Right. And you know and this is where communication is is really key you know if you need more lubricant, you know you need. You know you can tell your partner where lubricant is needed. So definitely definitely a key.
Speaker 2:One other thing to you know, just in regards to anal sex and safety, is it's generally recommended to go very, very slowly and it's about an inch per minute. So you don't that's interesting. So you go very slowly to ensure, you know, just to allow that relaxation to really come in. You know, but down, just relax, you know, get accustomed to it. It's a very intimate act. Honestly, this is something that honestly like for couples that want to take, take something you know, take their intimacy to the next level. I mean this is super intimate. This is very, you know it's. It's putting a lot of pressure to working together slowly.
Speaker 1:It's not a fast hurry, hurry, hurry. This is not this kind of thing. It's not boring. Slow, yes, yes, slow Working together. Now here's the thing I wouldn't suggest personally, my personal opinion. But can you hear anything? Any noise? I need a little bit, but not much, ok, cool, so we'll just continue. Sorry for the noise. I have tree cutters today, so, anyway, but that's not where we want to start with the play. Though you don't want to start an anal, ok, we need to start in other areas to work it up to get to that point where she's hot, heavy, juicy, excited, wanting more, because then, when you get down there and you're doing your, thing, I mean four plays, always important.
Speaker 2:Okay, it's always important and you definitely want it. You want to have. You want to have your, your female partner, anybody with a vagina. You want to have them very, very relaxed, very, very turned on, very, very Absolutely. Foreplay is absolutely key. Like you can't, like you don't skimp when it comes to. You cannot skimp if you want, you know. Like you cannot skimp on any of no.
Speaker 1:Like do whatever you need to figure out her design of what makes her turned on the room, the ambiance, the whatever. It might take 30 to 40 minutes to get to that place, but you bet you work that out.
Speaker 2:It might not be the first time. You know you're gonna start off gradually, you know it's. You know maybe you are just starting off a little bit of fingering. Maybe you are starting off with like playing with a toy, you know, and just kind of rubbing. You know the, you know just kind of, you know Putting it along the outside the perimeter and just, you know, gradually you don't getting those, getting those nervous, because the anus is very, has some very rich nerve endings. So I mean you know you can start with. You know you can start, you know, small and build your way up to it.
Speaker 1:You know there's yeah, yeah, yeah, just the tip. And that's really good that you said that, because I think that in you know, that's just big players, some guys, mine. The minute the girl goes, yeah, let's do anal, that's happened in that night. All right, it's happening and that's it. And let's just be clear, you're right, it's not. If you're just starting out and doing that play, it's going to be a. Possibly it might not happen that night.
Speaker 2:Well, it might not. You know I mean, and using it's, you know it really truly is. You know about just making sure that your partner is ready and making sure that they are relaxed and making sure that they do understand that. You know that it's, you know this is, it's intimate, you know you're listening to them, you're having that trust and, yes, absolutely um.
Speaker 1:I um From you um one, because we've worked together now for a couple years, three years. This um what. Somebody came to me, the anal. Somebody came to me and wanted to do anal and was afraid because they were extremely tight and wanted to get it looser. And so pure romance. I actually ordered it for them and pure romance has a kit. It's like four or five. Where it's a gradual, you can insert a trainer. It's a trainer.
Speaker 2:Thank you, that's what that's what you can do.
Speaker 1:Trainers. So I was. I was like I didn't know what they're called. You can do trainers and whatnot, right? So those are things that you can do. Yeah, yeah, that's really yes. And the other thing just to kind of I don't know. Ah, some, I think it's every. I think girls like the idea of a double penetration. So if your man is a big guy and you're like there's no fucking way that his cock is going in my butt, then maybe do a strap on and have something go in your butt, I mean you could do that stuff.
Speaker 2:I mean, I'm the other thing. The other thing that you can do with that situation is you can actually use a male sleeve and put it on him and if it's as long as it's open-ended you need an open-ended one both ends you put it on him and then Just get the little bit oh, because it'll be a cushion and it'll prevent him from actually putting the whole thing in.
Speaker 1:Oh wow, I never. That's awesome, see, ladies, there's so many things out there. There's things we can. Yeah, there's, there are things you can make it more comfortable for sure, exactly, and he's still getting that control and being able to play with it, and all of that, which is awesome. Oh my god, that's a good one. Okay, so that's good. Um, so let's talk about toys real quick.
Speaker 2:Since you brought up toys, let's just talk about toys and safety.
Speaker 1:Yes, okay, I don't, I don't want anybody.
Speaker 2:I don't want any of our listeners here to end up in the hospital, the emergency room, because people end up there. Y'all the stories that you hear is like sending to the ER. Whatever the stories, you are true 100%. So here's the deal. Number one rule of thumb with any toys and any anal play, whatever you are playing with needs to have either a flat bottom or it needs to have a string. The reason being is that sphincter muscle that's keeping everything up. It actually Will suck up what you put in there. People that end up in the emergency room with, you know, flashlights and shot glasses and and gerbils and light bulbs. And I read a story about an electric eel once that Somebody decided they needed an electric eel. All surgery was performed, the ELA and the person were okay, just saying it's the reality, people are doing it. So, and just on that note, I mean that's just to say people like it. I mean, look what they're doing for it. So can we talk about men? Now? Let's talk about men. Oh no.
Speaker 1:I'm so excited.
Speaker 2:It's time to talk about women so, and you also asked actually, what do women get out of it? Like the pleasure-wise.
Speaker 1:So the one thing that I wanna yes, please, let's form that up. I want women to enjoy this, because it is and you and I enjoy it and we know because we've passed through that PTSD. But we gotta get the other woman past that PTSD point.
Speaker 2:So here's the thing, the clitoris, what we know of the clitoris like. Here's my little vagina model here. So this is the clitoris, right, this is the clitoris that you see. This is the part of the clitoris that you see. The part of the clitoris that you don't see is internal, and when we become aroused, the clitoris is made up of the same tissues that a penis is made up of, and actually can look like one.
Speaker 2:And when we become aroused ladies those of you with the clitoris it becomes aroused. Fun fact, your clitoris might be bigger than his penis. Just then, Comparisons, they are something to compare, Anyways. Yeah, Mine is bigger than yours, right?
Speaker 1:So oh my God, that's hilarious Cause it's true. I mean, I've seen some pictures of them and they're huge and they are behind.
Speaker 2:So you know what's really scary and we'll talk about this another day when we talk about the clitoris. But what's really scary, though, is that you know the clitoris really is. You know it's behind, you know it sits behind the labia, it sits behind, you know it really engorges that whole entire area. So anal play is just getting another. It's another part. Just like you like doggie style versus missionary versus cowgirl versus, you know upside down, you know whatever, however you like, whatever your favorite position is yeah, it's a different penetration and it's just getting a different spot. And, as you mentioned, double penetration is very popular, because then you get that clitoral vaginal stimulation at the same time that you're getting that anal stimulation. Like all of it is stimulated and, holy cow, you can have it in a magnet with an orgasm. So we just talk about men.
Speaker 1:OK, hold on. Let me just wrap that up with the female, so women. Just imagine having something even better than the clitoral and the internal orgasm. Just imagine it being even better. And so if you can think of it that it can even be better, then maybe you'll try it. So just at least try it once. I always say to people try it once.
Speaker 2:OK. Well, you know, as long as your partner is, you know, as long as you have a partner that's going to take care of you properly and you have that communication and trust, why not? You know it's better than the slip up. You know it's not like the slip up at all. The slip up you're not prepared for and it hurts, but it's not meant to hurt.
Speaker 1:It does. I mean, it's just no doubt about it. Yeah, ok, let's talk about the men, because let's talk about men, I love it. And here's the thing it's not just for heterosexual or for gay men, as everyone thinks. So let's just get into this men thing, because they need to get that prostate cleaned out.
Speaker 2:Well, you know, and I will say, you know, just to be whatever for any of the guys like for a myth, you know, that's sure. One of the myths here that's a very popular myth is like oh, you know, anal sex is I'm not gay, you know I'm not, I'm not homosexual. Well, I just want to look at the partner that you're with and make that determination and just say, you know, well, I mean, because if you are a male and you are with a female in a heterosexual relationship and you're doing this with a female, I mean that's not the definition of homosexual.
Speaker 1:But I think it's just that stigma of like.
Speaker 2:But it's a stigma.
Speaker 1:you know that the minute you put something in your butt as a heterosexual male, that makes you a A wolf gay, and that is a fucking myth. That's not true. That's not true.
Speaker 2:It's so not true, right? I mean you can try it and you know, and if you look at your best friend differently, I mean you know, I guess, but I mean that's you know, that's not, that's not true.
Speaker 1:So, here's what I want to say, what all the studies and the research I've done. Because you know me I am the one who talks about prostate massages on a weekly basis for men and because I did all the, all the, because you were the one who taught me about the vagina, the clitor, you know, getting the vibrator in the vagina. So I took the research a little further and went to the massagers in the anus and what that does for men and the, with men having 40% of men having prostate cancer and one of the biggest reasons is because they're not clearing out their prostate with all the fluid that's in there.
Speaker 2:Interestingly enough, it's funny that you say that, because there is actually, while it's not scientifically proven that prostate massage can prevent prostate cancer, there is work done that shows. In Japan there's a subsection of men that do that and they have significantly lower numbers, so huge numbers.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, and you're right, and I have these research studies on my Reddit, so if you want to read about it, I have that Japan story. I have the other ones about prostate massage, because I talk about it. I even talked about it to my dad, who's 80. And it's important, though my dad said really he's doing it. So I'm like my dad is 80 and doing it.
Speaker 2:Well, and you know what, and here's the thing you know, as men get older, they have more issues with their prostate. You know, just, you know they do, they have. There's a lot of issues that happen with the prostate and a lot of them, a lot of the treatments for them, is prostate massage. That's going to leave it. If you have a little large prostate, prostate massage. If you have prostate cytos, prostate massage. If you have prostate cancer, prostate massage, like so everything kind of comes down to this prostate massage. So can we talk about prostate massage for a second, gentlemen? I just want to say Is it okay? Here's the thing this is. You know, this is really truly.
Speaker 2:I think what it comes down to is you know, guys have that lack of room, talk Like everybody's got that, every guy has that friend right that you know that this girl stuck her foot where she was giving me a blow job and like she stuck her finger and all of a sudden like, oh my God, you know, amazing, it's just this crazy orgasm. Well, you know, the thing about prostate massage is that it does completely expel everything out, but it increases that orgasm like eight times, eight, eight times, gentlemen, eight times you can have an eight times stronger orgasm. Every man. Well, ladies, if you're looking to get your men to, you know, do this. I look at it as turnabout, as fair play. It's very, very healthy for him and bonus for him he gets to use his favorite toy for as longer. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Oh, my God.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and he was playing with it in the womb. So just to say how excited he is about it. They have embryo, they have the little fetuses playing with their little, with their little penises in the womb. So they've been playing with this forever. Babies put their baby boys, put their hand down their diaper. They're being no moms, no Mom's no.
Speaker 1:We had boys, we know yeah.
Speaker 2:So I mean this is a forever and everything. You know like this is their favorite body part ladies Little prostate massage and he can use it for great toy forever and he gets an orgasm that's eight times stronger.
Speaker 1:It's the most amazing orgasm.
Speaker 2:I kind of feel like it's almost not fair, like you know. I mean it's entertaining that it's in their butt. I will say that I, you and I have Thank you, thank you, thank you to the powers that be, because I mean, you know, we get the clitoris, which is only here for our, our enjoyment, and you know the wonderfulness of of that. But you know, I said it may. They don't have to go to childbirth, they can have an eight times stronger orgasm by just massaging the prostate.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean it's exactly. And when you're doing that let's just talk about because it's not that far in. You got to make sure you're doing it right. I, when I was doing the research on that too, it's like it's it's only like two centimeters in size yeah.
Speaker 1:And it's the size of a walnut and you know a little bit of. You know if you want to do a finger or the vibration works. And the other thing I read because, as you say, you know Japan is doing it, it's very common. I had men going, I want one of those, and so I started doing some research and found out that the the massage parlors will actually do a prostate massage, because they don't look at it as sexual, because they're not touching the penis, and so you can actually ask for a prostate massage at a massage parlors. Some of them will do that for you, so you could actually just write exactly so and it's not sexual, right.
Speaker 1:It's considered healthy. It's considered healthy by releasing that.
Speaker 2:Hey, women used to go to, women used to go to the, go to the doctor for treatments for a Syria, so I mean, and they used to use a vibrator. We got the vibrator. So I mean, you know, it was all. It was all because of it was all because of a little carpal tunnel.
Speaker 1:Exactly Right. So no, I love taking that stigmatization away from certain things. The other thing that can be playful and fun that I have heard of couples doing is the female wearing a strap on. Yeah, pegging, sometimes that's a fantasy of men. It's a different type of, you know, dominance kind of things, some kind of whatever, and I don't know. I mean, I've talked to people, they they like to do that kind of stuff. So I think it's all over the place and, like I said, nothing's weird, because I think what? So long as you're both two consenting adults and you're enjoying each other and you're not being horribly, you know, disgusting with each other, then it's, it's good.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, as long as you're consenting and it's okay with you, anything can go.
Speaker 1:I mean, you know, I feel like as long as it's legal and consenting.
Speaker 2:I mean, you know, so we'll, we'll both. I love it Just for just for kicks. But you know, into consenting adults, I mean, that's right, whatever you want to explore, I mean I think that you know we're adults, you know we get to play. This is our, this is how we play this is our playground All right.
Speaker 1:So any more last minute words that you want to say about anal, we've done. Like you know, like we said we were going to do like 40 minutes of it. I think we've covered some really good topics and some variations.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we talked about some fun myths and yeah, it's been a lot. Yeah, I think we've had a really great conversation about bag door play.
Speaker 1:I think it's been really good and you, you made it so the way that you communicate. It's like you, you make it so it's not uncomfortable. You know what I mean Like it's not nasty, it's not dirty, do you know what I mean? It's like right, and you make it so. It's like it's good, it's fun to play with each other and let's play, yeah, so anyways, it's important to play together.
Speaker 2:I mean it's important for couples to play. It is important for partners Like it is. It's very important for you to explore each other and play.
Speaker 1:That's what keeps your relationship healthy.
Speaker 2:That's what relieves the stress. That's what you work for. Come on, everything comes down to sex, right? You know, we work, we work hard so that we can play hard, and playing hard includes in the bedroom.
Speaker 1:Well, as they say, you know the two things that we are innate about sex, food. We need food and we need sex. So if people could just get their heads around those kinds of things. I mean, I didn't make this up, okay, it's not made up, so, but anyway. So yeah, food and sex. So let's get our heads around talking about it and enjoying it. And if we're not with partners that we're not enjoying, let's find a way to do it. Go to Shiloh. She does couples coaching, you know. Keep coming here to learn more. We'll love to have you back. So next week we're doing B right, bdsm.
Speaker 2:I know I'm excited. I'm so excited. I love that. That's gonna be fun. There's a lot to cover within that. We're never going to cover all that. We're definitely going to have to do an ABCs of BDSM. So oh gosh totally. Right, I love it, I love it, I love it.
Speaker 1:Okay. Well, thank you, shiloh, for joining me. I will see you back next week for some more sex. Talk A to Z, thanks.
Speaker 2:Stephanie for having me. Bye everybody, bye, bye.
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