Guest Lewis Huckstep - The Journey to Sexual Satisfaction through Emotional Healing

Discover the secrets to a deeper, more electrifying sexual connection with our returning guest, Lewis Huckstep, an expert in mindset, business, and relationships. He joins me, Stephanie Smith, on an exploratory journey where we unlock the potential for profound intimacy and gratification in your bedroom exploits. We navigate through the realms of mental and emotional clarity, pinpointing the foundational elements that spark openness and vulnerability with your significant other. Lewis generously imparts four powerful tips that promise to dismantle the mental barriers and address the pervasive influence of pornography on our intimate lives.

Venture into the heart of your relationship, where presence is more than just being there—it's about engaging fully, soul to soul. As we dissect the ever-growing emphasis on self-care, understand its ripple effect extending beyond personal health to the nourishment of our closest bonds. We unwrap the complexities of the polyvagal theory, offering a lens to view the critical role our nervous system plays in our overall well-being. Grasp why adopting a slower pace and fostering a parasympathetic state can unlock a more connected, loving partnership—one where stress and digestion find balance, and intimacy flourishes.

Embark with us as we reveal how personal growth and the journey of healing can dramatically amplify the intimacy in your relationships. Through my own narratives of trauma triumphs and the relentless pursuit of self-improvement, we spotlight the significance of authenticity and facing our innermost wounds. Lewis lends insight into the synergy between a well-nourished lifestyle, a resilient mindset, and the profound expression of love and sexuality. This episode is your beacon towards embracing a richer, health-focused sexual dynamism, where the physical and emotional converge to redefine pleasure.

#lewishuckstep 

12/30/23

Chapters

• 0:00 Tips for an Incredible Sexual Relationship
• 13:21 Importance of Presence in Relationships
• 16:44 Improving Intimacy Through Connection and Healing
• 27:01 Healing and Healthy Sex Power

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:44

Welcome back to let's Talk About Sex with Stephanie Smith. I am, stephanie, your host, and I am here today with again another he Louis Faison once time before and I intend to have him on as much as possible to give people some insight and a place to go. So let me introduce him first. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome that incredible because he is I think he is being his age and all that he's done a passionate mindset, business and relationship coach, dedicated to helping business owners enhance their lives and careers, with a focus on unlocking your full potential. Louis specializes in finding purpose and overcoming mental, emotional, strategic and leadership blocks, ultimately leading to more success, love and fulfillment. So I welcome back, louis Huckstaff. Thank you so much.

Speaker 2: 1:45

Thank you for being, thank you for having me for round two and such a beautiful energy that you have, as I complimented that last time, so pleasure to be here. I'm looking forward to, yeah, diving into wherever this goes and, yeah, hopefully adding some value to some people.

Speaker 1: 2:01

Yeah, well, as you know, I am a sex positive, you know, platform. I like to give couples primarily couples my age group or even ones that are not ideas and how to spice things up in their relationship through fantasy, through you know, having you on and helping people through different types of things in their lives and just to honestly have the best, healthiest sex life they can. Through health, because you need to be healthy to have good sex right and through, you know, having good sex. So, because that's the ultimate goal is we want to be healthy and have good sex and have a good relationship. So one of the reels that you did that I really love because I do, as I was saying to you before, but I wanted to all the guys that I like to talk to and I have lots of guys that reach out to me, I mean because they're lost, they're like I don't know what to do, and so I always answer them and then I always refer them back to your platform, lewis, to understand women better. I also say that you and your fiancee have a nice way that you communicate.

Speaker 1: 3:19

I also talk about how you know some of your things, that you your foundation or rules of a relationship and are they having those and their relationship? And so I, because I love all these things that you know I mean I, I watch you, I watch you and I love your stuff. So I like to reference people back to these areas, because a lot of people are not taught how to have good relationships okay, and we're not told that we need to actually be in good sounding space here and that our partner needs to either be in it or be willing to reach that and then together doing it together, which is what we talked about last time and I love that. So anyone who missed that, please go back to our other podcast about that, but Lewis covers that incredibly well. So today we're going to talk about the four tips for an incredible relation, like sexual relationship, for better orgasms, for more fulfillment. So you have the four tips, so you're going to tell us about it.

Speaker 2: 4:28

Beautiful Look to be real. There's. There's many more than four. I've made a couple, a couple reels, kind of just sort of throwing some tips in there, and yeah, that and a lot of my content. I'm just speaking to myself, to be honest, and they're things that I've learned and downloaded through my own work, my own awareness. Obviously, you're working with a lot of coaches myself, I'm constantly working with coaches. I just came back from a six day intensive event which was very, very intense and very deep. So, yeah, the video that you're referring to I think I posted not too long ago, maybe a week or so ago, and they're just four tips that have really served me on my journey.

Speaker 2: 5:10

I did a sexual mastery for men program I think 12 months ago and the very first uh, taken some up, coś down. Thank you, guys for the first module, outside of the four tips I'm about to go into, was stop watching pornography. That was the very first one. So I didn't. That was one of the tips, but that's also a side note for people Not not necessarily stop it completely, depending on the Context and the intention and the type that you're doing it for from. But we can talk about that later if you want to.

Speaker 2: 5:37

The four tips that you're referring to, number one is clearing out any mental blocks, because if you've got anything that you have shame around, that you're hiding from your partner, that you're Not expressing it, create, it manifests internally and it manifests externally as a disconnect from your head to your body. And when we get into our bodies, in the bedroom, when we actually open up Ideally open up to be vulnerable and actually express and explore every inch of who we are and every inch of our partner, it requires that level of embodiment of actually being in your body and not in your head. So if you've got this thing around, you've lied to your partner, you've even maybe cheated on your partner, or you're hiding something from your partner, or you are watching porn and you're hiding that all. Whatever it is that you're hiding or have shame around, it's going to energetically show up in the bedroom. And I've had experiences with that early on in my relationship, where there were some things that I wasn't showing my partner, that I was Watching porn. Early on in our relationship I was not being as honest as I could be with my presence with her, with being attracted to other women with my partner and trying to hide that from her and Then it would just manifest with this very not fake sex, but just not fully conscious, connected sex and yeah, it's more of a performance rather than an embodiment. So, yeah, definitely, having the tough conversations is Is where I would get started, for if anyone listening to this.

Speaker 2: 7:02

So, whatever you have shame around or you hide or that you're not being open and vulnerable about, just book in a really open Conversation with your partner along the lines of just saying, hey, hon, there you go. I would love to really connect with you and just open up with you. There's, I'm really working myself. I've just listened to this fucking amazing podcast with Stephanie Smith and this awesome dude from Australia and I just I Really want to get, I really want to be open and vulnerable and real with you. Can we book in like a couple of hours just to have some time together and connect and open up and for yourself as well, for the conversation, I'd love for you to think about anything that you want to open up and get off your chest so we can be really clean things out.

Speaker 2: 7:39

So that was the first one. Think of the top of my head. Number two was, I believe, explore. I think it was explore or slow, oh no, was the sex around it? Yeah, they build up. So one of the other tips I got from that same program was the analogy of men versus women when it comes to intimacy, and she used the her name's Kim and army. If anyone knows, go look down her stuff. I really enjoyed it.

Speaker 2: 8:03

Kim and army K, I, ama Ni, I Hopefully saw that right and she uses the analogy of men versus women when it comes to sexual energy and the build up, and men Are very quick to build up. We can turn on really quickly. She uses a matchstick as the example. We can light really quickly but we go out. We can go out pretty quickly. When we have our orgasm, when we ejaculate, we can pretty much like go limp and then we want to roll over and take in that. That's. That's kind of men, where women are more like boiling water, where it takes a while to warm things up and to heat Things up, but then you can stay heated for a very long period of time, have many, many, many orgasms, and men can have multiple orgasms, which I'll get to later on the podcast.

Speaker 2: 8:42

But yeah, that's just understanding that, and then, when you get in the mood for any of the men, you get really horny. You're in the zone you want to rock and roll and your partner is still warming up, she's still a bit cold. It's like we get that frustration. Or she doesn't find me attractive or she's not as sexually active as I wanted to be. It's like, no, you just haven't Warm the oven up, you just haven't heat, boiled the water.

Speaker 2: 9:04

So doing things around the bedroom, whether it's the touch, the cute little touch, the kiss on the ear, the whisper on the, so the breath on the neck, the whisper in the ear, the little bum, grab the little toucher across the, across the cock, or across the Volvo as you walk and pass each other.

Speaker 2: 9:20

It's like just doing those nice little touches around, just around the house, depending when you see your partner, whether it's some flirty messages, maybe it's some photos you want to go experience together, some, some sexual words you want to share with each other about ripping each other's clothes off or whatever it is. It's just building that, that, that suspense and heating for the women, heating them up. So it's like when you're ready to roll, you're ready to roll. So that's been really helpful, especially for my partner, because she's still on her journey, as me with our own healing, our own sexual healing, and Been out to just because I pretty much experienced everything I just said of like I'm like really horny, I want to go, let's do it. And she's like like she's kind of performing to do it because she's not really in the mood, and towards the end, where I'm almost finished, she's still just warming up. So it's been out to then you both at a boiling point and you can both really sort of rip into it together.

Speaker 1: 10:12

Hold on.

Speaker 1: 10:13

I want to go back to this one. I want to jump in on this one. Just some other ideas with regards to ways to bring up that mood and whatnot. Some women like to cook together. You guys can cook together. You can make it fun cooking together. Dude can do it naked, you can play around while you're cooking. You know Even doing laundry, making the bed, you know. There's so many things that I think that you should really take into Playfulness, a lot of playfulness, not just the whole touching, you know, getting it kind of going. All that other stuff is built up for women as well.

Speaker 2: 10:53

I.

Speaker 1: 10:55

Think, even like taking a walk sometimes women just get built, get it turned on by just getting a walk. You know, take me, let me go, take you and I'm gonna take you to see the sunset and we're gonna walk and see that, and it's like it's a turn on for women. And so there's a lot of things that I think that Men can learn from that way of that, that kind of a buildup. It's not always I need to take them out for a date. I got to spend the money and everyone's got to get ready and and everyone's nice and plain, and then we're. No, it doesn't always have to be that way and and it doesn't. It shouldn't always be that way, but we do need to have the little kisses, the little rubbing, the massages, the touching, the, the going up behind and grabbing and you know whatever, like what you were saying. But just, you can speed that up a little bit too and getting some of those, getting some of that connection together. I have a swing at my house. Oh, a swing. Women love swings. Every woman that comes here gets on my swing and it just brings this like childlike attitude. So bring things like you can have a swing, like I, I, I toward. I was taking a walk yesterday and I saw a swing for two, like a big one for both of you, just to lay things like that. You're just built that, all that stuff you know, laying there, talking, looking at the, you know the sun, the stars, the, whatever. So things like that, aside from all the little touching and the little kissing and all of that, all those other things are really building connections between each other. So I love that.

Speaker 1: 12:46

And one thing I wanted to ask you. You know I'd love to hear I think the listeners will too. I know you're going to not be able to do all of them, but maybe you'll come back and maybe you or put together something that you can do for us along those lines of that course that you went to, so that people could really understand, because I have so many, like I said, so many guys just don't know what to do and are really feeling lost. But I think if they had a place and a platform to go to and where they're all feeling the same, it would feel really good. So you know what I mean. More men reach out to me than females. So that's just it. They want to fix it, okay, and the females are just like doesn't he know, you know? It's like no, he doesn't. And I constantly say that he just doesn't know. So, okay, you were taking some notes, do you want to?

Speaker 2: 13:44

Yeah, no one of the words that really came through me as you'll speak in about, like the other ways to sort of warm up the water is presence. That's what women want for men. That's what the feminine yearns for and craves from men. So, whatever it's like saying, doing the washing together, doing the cleaning together, going to the beach together, playfully to playing together, just being with each other, women want presence. They want that they're masculine or they're man, and this can be heterosexual or bisexual, it doesn't matter, it's whoever's the masculine is. The feminine wants that level of presence from the masculine. So, yeah, that was just one of the notes that I took out as you were talking.

Speaker 1: 14:28

Very good, that's a very good option and you're right, 100%, they do. They want presence, yeah, and people are requiring it more. I feel like people are becoming more enlightened in the world today, and we're becoming more enlightened to people about needing to take care of self care, to make sure that we take care of ourselves, and not only for ourselves, but for our partner, for our kids, for our grandkids, for whatnot. So, which was in top before, so things are really changing, I think, for the better. So it's just going to be that little change that we have to do. So okay, so the next one slow things down. What do you do to slow things down?

Speaker 2: 15:10

Yeah, beautiful. So I teach the polyvagal theory or I teach a version of that. It's just put your vagus nerve and how that influences your nervous system. You've got your anonomic nervous system. Just to keep it in basic terms, it's your nervous system that controls all your unconscious functions, your heartbeat, your lungs, your digestive system and all that stuff. And you've got two branches of that. You've got the sympathetic nervous system and the parasympathetic nervous system. If anyone that's done any sort of like mindset self development, you probably heard these terms before.

Speaker 2: 15:45

So the parasympathetic is your ulterior first. The sympathetic I just think of the S's scared. So the sympathetic is your fight or flight. So it's like your defensive. A tiger walks in, you're going to defend yourself. It's like your survival instincts, essentially. So there's fight and flight. And on the other side, the other branch is your parasympathetic, I think, is P for pausing or slowing things down. So your parasympathetic is responsible for freeze. So like some people freeze. So it's like you slows your heartbeat down and you freeze to let the tiger not see you.

Speaker 2: 16:16

You've got the rest and digest. So when you're actually safe to calm the fuck down and be relaxed and feel safe, your digestive system can actually work properly and off topic, little tangent. How many people are super stressed, super anxious? And then how many people have so many fucking gut issues these days? They're interesting because you're not in parasympathetic, your digestive system is not working properly, because you're always constantly trying to defend yourself from a tiger, because you're just stressed and anxious. That's a conversation.

Speaker 2: 16:45

And then the third piece of the parasympathetic is connection, because that's all we generally yearn for as human beings, as a tribe. We want to feel loved and connected and a part of community. Now, if you're not in parasympathetic, then you're not deeply sinking into connection. And the ultimate form of connection is sex, especially for women, because you're surrendering and you're actually releasing and letting go. So if you're in your head especially for women and men as well, because I've certainly been in myself as well if you're in your head around your performance and you're having to please your woman and having to do XYZ because of whatever you watched or you've been conditioned to be like in the bedroom, the woman has to please the men, has to dominate the men, has to take control and flip them all over and do all these positions and just have sex like a jackhammer for 30 minutes straight, without pausing or breaking or switching. It's like you've got to these all the conditions I've had to work through. But if you're in your, if you're in a sympathetic, if you're in this the stressed or scared response you're not able to actually sink into actually deep, conscious, body embodied connection. So simple way to do that is breathwork. So we don't do this all the. We did this. We just do this when we need to, because me and my partner do a lot of work together. We work from home so we get to spend a fair bit of time together and we feel so safe around each other because we've been doing so much healing and growth and we're in a fair bit of sync.

Speaker 2: 18:07

But early on, like, definitely not like I've had times with my partner even a year or two years, two years into our relationship. Well, I struggled to even get my my cock up for sex with my partner after two years because I was still having my stuff come to the surface. I was still having my performance anxieties come up, my lack of connection come up and those after two years have been with her and a lot of I. We haven't had that for about two years. We've been together about four years now and back then when I was having those sort of still blows blocks, because I still had those mental blocks I hadn't cleared out. I was still some shame that I had around myself, around to it and it was showing up. You can see how step one leads into the step as well, because if you've got this shame and guilt and shit you're hiding, then you're going to be oh my God, what if she figures out? I don't know what I'm doing and I feel like I'm a piece of shit and whatever.

Speaker 2: 18:54

So again, you're not in parasympathetic. So to do that we do breath work. So there's a yam yum position where you sit kind of cross legged with each other, ideally completely naked If and obviously you hopefully feel comfortable doing that with your partner is you sit pretty much cross legged on each other, so a woman on the man's lap, and you put each hand, your hand, on each other's heart, you stare into each other's eyes, eye gazing, and you breathe into unison together. So I breathe and I focus personally on feeling the rise of her chest and her heartbeat and she does the same, and we just keep breathing like that and you just do that for a couple of minutes One. It makes you super fucking connected with your partner.

Speaker 2: 19:34

Two it calms because if you're doing slow breathing, so whenever you want to tap into parasympathetic, the easiest breath work pattern to remember is just to breathe slower on the way out. So if you think of like someone having a panic attack, they're really short, shally fast. So just to tap a little bit more into your parasympathetic to actually chill out is breathe in slow, all the slow, but just breathe out slower. So we're breathing in and then we're breathing out through your lips and you're breathing out just a little bit slower. So your eye gaze and you're fully connected. You're present with each other. You're connected with each other. You're slowing things down and you just do that for a couple of minutes and then that, if you do that right, you'll feel a lot more connected. Your walls will come down, you'll be more vulnerable, you'll be more open, you'll be more connected and then you can start to explore and taking your.

Speaker 2: 20:24

Another sort of addition onto this is to take your the mindset of orgasm like take the goal off that it's like don't get so fixated on that right. Like enjoy the exploration. Like be so curious to explore every inch of your partner the back of their knees, their bum, obviously, their genitals, their nipples, their neck, their ears, like just be so beautifully curious about exploring, obviously, having that beautiful conversation back and forth, what feels good for you, what do you want more of, what do you want less of. And a lot of men, if you've got that sort of performance anxiety, will probably struggle with that, and I did. Definitely early on, when she'd give me feedback, I'd take that. Oh, I must be shit, I must not be good at what I'm doing. She's telling me what she wants, like no, she's just literally giving you the answers to the test. She's actually helping you perform right. It's like take the feedback, lower the ego, hence the breath work and help you do that.

Speaker 1: 21:17

That's really good that you just said, because I didn't even think that that's what guys would think. But that is a very good point that you bring up Women don't mean to do that, so that's good. Thank you, for I just wanted to make sure we, okay, go ahead. Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 2: 21:31

And from your point before, like you're saying, like women think men should know what they're doing and men think they should think they should know what they're doing, and really everyone's just trying to figure the fucking shit out and everyone's different. Every man, every woman has their own kinks, their own pleasures, their own sweet spots, their own desires, their own fetishes. It's like how the fuck you meant to know, you know, by exploring and having, yeah, just having some asking, hey, what feels really well for you, what feels alive Right For you right now? Yeah, and having that conversation and again, early on, probably sort of still that sort of two year period into our relationship it's, I was still sort of figuring that out and probably taking things a little bit more personally than I should Like. Oh my God, I fuck. Oh, babe, that doesn't feel that great. Can you do that instead? Oh, fuck, fuck, I'm shit at this, I should be better at this, and those are things I was experiencing. I'm sure a lot of men can relate to that as well. So, yeah, slow things down is to summarize of it. So do some breath work, some connections, some grounding, especially if you've been stressed, especially if there's some anxiety going around, especially if you guys haven't been connecting regularly. If you guys work and you don't see each other that often, to just make sure you guys are connected.

Speaker 2: 22:46

Another point on that which wasn't in those steps is at least 90 minutes per week of genuine presence and connection. Is they did the study I think it was Jordan Peterson said it, it was 90 minutes is what's needed for genuine, authentic connection in a relationship, in a partnership. So it doesn't have to be a one 90 minute block. It can be. It can be your schedules are hectic and maybe that is what you've scheduled in. But at least 90 minutes throughout the week of actual presence and like what we were talking about before, not just watching it. It can be. It could be watching a movie together if you guys are present with each other. But if you're kind of watching TV one person's on their phone, one person's distracted, it's like that. I don't call that presence. So, where you're actually completely connected and present with each other, 90 minutes throughout the week will add to this. So, yeah, that's step three. Slow things down and hopefully got some tips out of that one.

Speaker 2: 23:39

And then number four, which is my fave, is the healing healing your wounds. So whenever you go to trauma or a wound, psychologically, what you'll do is you'll build a wall and a shield or armor to protect it so you don't, so it doesn't get hurt again. And that's very just compensation. Trauma responses, very sort of psychological stuff. And when we are in the bedroom being intimate, having sex, it's like the ultimate version of surrendering and opening up, because you're being seen in all of your glory, with no clothes, and your full, fullest expression. And if you've got all of these unhealed traumas which we all have we've were all always healing and continuously healing. But if you feel unsafe because of if you've got unhealed trauma, you know you're going to be able to heal you will want to protect that wound or trauma. So you'll build a shield up. So therefore you'll be unsafe. So you'll be back into sympathetic, not parasympathetic, so you'll be put on a mask. You won't be surrendering. Especially important for the women to actually fully surrender If you want those deep embodied cervical G spot orgasms you got to really surrender. And especially for cervical orgasms is really let go of control, control and depending how you frame it, but control in this context is just compensation from past hurt.

Speaker 2: 24:57

I love the quote past hurt informs future fear. So if you've been through hurt before, you got a trauma or a wound there you don't want to experience it again. So you'll perpetuate that into the future and therefore be fearful of it happening again. So say, you've had sex with a man and has hurt you before. You're in a bad relationship and the man like, dominated you in a bad way, unconsensually maybe. You've been abused sexually.

Speaker 2: 25:18

It's like you've been through that past hurt. So you don't feel that hurt again. You're going to put the walls up and shut off and not fully surrender. However, yes, it protects you from that pain, but it also stops you from feeling the full spectrum of what sex has to offer. So it's a bit of a double-edged sword. It keeps you what you believe is safe, but it also perpetuates that past pain and it also prevents you from exploring to your full depth. So it's a bit of a paradox. So heal through your shit so you don't need the walls and the armor anymore. It's the summary of this conversation and, yeah, that's that for.

Speaker 1: 25:50

I just I want to say about this because I am hearing a lot of people come and send me messages but with women and men especially when women are healing from trauma, or men or couples same sex it doesn't matter anybody. If you're a person who's not going to be patient and willing to work through that with that person to get to where you're saying that they need to be, which is in that safe, comfortable space so that they can open up truly to that partner, then you should really not be in that relationship. Because I do see people rushing how long will it take this person? How long? And it's not a rush, it's about what they need to go through Now. I think it's.

Speaker 1: 26:46

You can always set limits on things and how we're going to work through things, but if they've got some deep wound it's things it's important to acknowledge them, right? I mean, we need to like be kind about that and let them work through that. So sex might not be right away or might not be as often, it might be more infrequent. That's what I'm saying and that's where these people think that well, she was a high libido and now she's a low libido and I don't know. But these things happen as they get, as people start opening up.

Speaker 2: 27:22

Great, yeah, beautiful it's the more you heal. It's a good conversation and, just to frame this, I'm definitely not an expert from the women's side, so I'm just sort of speaking what I've learned from my journey so far and I learned from other experts in this, from what I understand, and this is from Kim and Ami's work. So if you guys want to go consume her stuff, she validates this and she teaches us a lot more in depth than what I do. But a fully healthy, embodied woman loves sex, a fully healthy one, one who is in their body. They've done a lot of healing through their stuff. They're physically healthy, like they're not eating fucked up foods, they're training well, they're embodying their feminine, they're connected with their sisterhood. Again, health is quite obviously there's a bit of a checklist when it comes to health, right, but a fully healthy woman loves sex, and I'm not a woman, so I can't speak on behalf of women.

Speaker 2: 28:13

No, you're 100% right though yes, from my experience, yes, that's what I believe and I subscribe to, and my partner and I we're the healthiest we've ever been, we've done the most amount of healing we've ever done and we'll continue to do that, and our sex just gets better and better and better and better, and that's where I love the depths that a relationship can offer.

Speaker 2: 28:34

If you do commit to a journey with someone is like I just came back. I did a six day event last week and it was fucking hectic. It was like it was a very trauma healing event and like I've got one of the next to me. So one of these sheets essentially is like a process of like unpacking a trauma. So it's like I actually did this one on Georgia. So so, wow, a trigger reveals the traumas and your partner is gonna trigger you more than anyone else.

Speaker 2: 29:02

I think we spoke about this in the first podcast and she triggers me of being invalidated. So that was what she triggers in me. And this line remember, nothing triggers you. It reveals what's inside of you. So she revealed a wound in me of being invalidated or not seen or not enough. So I did the process on it and that took me like this process took me four hours to unpack that. So four hours to dissolve and that's like four hours of folks were not getting fucking distracted and anyways. So I did four of those processes last week during this event. So big week just healing another pack in my shit, and especially after I did that one. So I did that process on Georgia. Our sex that night was fucking epic. And then the next day was better, and then the next day was better, the next day was better.

Speaker 2: 29:45

It's like we just had like a growth, a sex growth week in the last week it's great Cause I was working through my shit and I'm a coach that thank you, thank you, thank you. And I'm a coach that teaches healing stuff and I'm still healing through my stuff and the more she does on her that whenever we do transformational work whether it's a psychedelic journey, a plant medicine journey, a Demartini process, a holographic process which is what that was it's like we just feel more authentic, our walls come down more and therefore we can explore and express more of who we are to each other in a safe environment, cause we're connected, cause we're healthy and all that stuff. So, yeah, I don't know where your question was to be on, I was just kind of around with that, but no, keep it in your water.

Speaker 1: 30:29

That was beautiful because you were very authentic. You're actually sharing some personal experiences. That shows that you're still going through things, cause, as coaches and people who are doing this type of work, we're still continually on a growth thing. And what you said, that you were real, I mean like when everything you said I'm like, oh my God, they're gonna benefit, they're gonna benefit, they're gonna benefit, they're gonna benefit. I mean that's all I kept on thinking is like, oh my God, this is so great because of all these people who I work with. You know, so when I work with people, I guess I do work with people, but everyone I work with I work with Probook. I don't charge anyone.

Speaker 1: 31:14

I it's been, I worked my whole life, and this is my icky guy, as I've told you. So. But what you said was just impactful. So I love that, and especially the part that you admitted that you weren't doing well eating healthy, get healthier. You saw an improvement in your sex life. It goes to show exactly what I say that sex is better when you're healthy. And look what you're saying when your mind is healthy too. Look at that. Clearing that type of that invalidating that thing. You know, not feeling validated. That comes from ADHD too, cause we've been invalidated our whole life and so but that is huge in a relationship. So you being able to conquer that and move past that is huge. And being able to teach other people who have ADHD and who I'm I know in my life that are ones I'm thinking of. They've all admitted that they haven't, so this will be very huge. So I love it.

Speaker 1: 32:24

Okay, and you were saying and yes, as women become into their truly healthy female, somebody who's worked through their wounds, somebody who's worked through their past trauma from sex, can actually have the most amazing sex life.

Speaker 1: 32:44

And look at what George is experiencing now. I'm sure she's like, probably if you were to ask her, you know this is I would love to have the two of you on one point, because I'd love to be able to ask both of you as a couple because you both are like almost like a power couple is what I would see on a journey together of growth, and so you can share with others that are also in the same situation that you're in. And it's funny, I was thinking as you were talking you two are starting your life, right, you're starting your life. You're getting married, okay. Well, I'm in a place, and I have a bunch of people around me where we're becoming empty nesters, learning how to even figure out each other again, like ew, who are you right? So your way of communicating and talking to each other can be incorporated to those empty nesters People who are you know, who are just becoming learning about each other again.

Speaker 2: 33:50

Yeah, beautiful. Is there any specific question off the back end of that, or just thoughts in general? You what? Any questions specifically off that, or just thoughts in general?

Speaker 1: 34:01

No, that was it, I just was. I thought that, yeah, everything you have to say is very good, so anything else you want to share with everyone.

Speaker 2: 34:13

Nothing specifically Like. I always enjoy our conversations. I love how authentic you are and the fact that you obviously dive into these conversations because they're taboo and they shouldn't be spoken about, but then it's such a then it becomes a problem because people don't know what the fuck they're doing because no one's talking about it. So it's. I love that you're just adding value to people. That, like it's taken me, I've been doing on my self growth for about 10 years now and I feel like I'm only just getting started and starting to really lean into the depths of who I am. And, yeah, like to have people like you who are sharing your message and other people's messages to help people in an area which fuck it can.

Speaker 2: 34:53

When there's that same woman Kim, and Army Georgia has done her program and it's called the well fucked woman program and it's around like when you're a well fucked woman from my understanding I haven't done the course, but from my understanding, like a well fucked woman is liberated, she glides, she heals, she radiates love and femininity and strength, and so that's the power of having fucking great sex and for a man it's very liberating and strong and empowering and and harming and grounding. It's like there's so much that sex has to offer and yeah, I think you're you're just doing such a great service to the world. So I hope I someone got some value from today's conversation and, yeah, look forward to having further conversations. I think Georgia would definitely down to come on for a conversation. We're pretty open about our sex life. Obviously, I do content on it, so we're pretty open about that because she's very passionate about it as well.

Speaker 1: 35:44

So Talk about the sex, but the connection I love the connection is really powerful, and I know that you and I talked about her journey in the beginning, that she had not done a whole lot of self-help work and so she could share her journey with others, about how, how did she get started and wasn't uncomfortable and was it weird and and then. But it's okay and once you get past you know what I mean. Like you know, because everyone needs to start somewhere. So I love the fact that she was willing, even because I want people to not be intimidated by someone like yourself or someone like me. Oh gosh, I have to be right where he's at. That's not true. We're growing together. We're all people growing together. We all have stuff to offer. So whatever we need to do to get together and work on being together, the best way we can, in a healthy way, in a healthy manner, is the best you know. So that's, that's all. So well. Thank you again. I appreciate it. I'm going to try my Irish hair Slanché is taunché, which is health and wellness in the New Year. So thank you so much. All right, thank you so much for joining me today.

Speaker 1: 37:08

Louis. On, let's talk about sex with Stephanie Smith. You have a good one, thank you, and that was great having Louis Huck step back again for another session with us. Please go check him out. He is a mindset, business and relationship coach and he dedicates his life in helping you enhance your life and your career and your relationship. So go check him out. I really enjoy working with him. He's going to come back on for more sessions with me and he's also going to bring Georgia, so I'm excited about that. Thank you so much and have a fabulous day.