One followers story… Harmony or Discord Aligning Dreams in a High-Powered Relationship

Ever felt like you're living in the shadow of someone else's success? That's the heart of the conversation we're wading into this week on Let's Talk About Sex. I'm Stephanie, and I'll be guiding you through a listener's intimate tale—her life with a high-achieving partner whose relentless pursuit of excellence has her questioning where she fits into the picture. He's the embodiment of ambition, while she cherishes a quieter, simpler joy in life's smaller moments. Together, we'll navigate the turbulent waters of self-worth, societal expectations, and the diverse forms success can take in a relationship.

Embarking on this journey, we tackle the delicate balance of supporting each other's dreams while fostering our own. No guest needed, just real, raw dialogue about the complexities of love when one partner is sprinting towards the summit of their career, and the other finds bliss in the cozy comfort of home life. We'll speak to the heart of anyone who's ever felt the pressure to match their partner's pace in the race to the top. Join us for a session filled with authenticity, as we confront insecurities head-on, and champion the idea that success doesn't come in a one-size-fits-all package.

12/30/23

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:45

Hello, welcome back to let's Talk About Sex with Stephanie Smith. I am your host, stephanie, and I am here today to bring you another followers of requests to discuss and issues she's having. And so here it goes. My boyfriend is such an achiever it intimidates me. Okay, my boyfriend is intimidating Ivy League fitness freak, plays multiple instruments and has a career that is just insane. He's also a sweet, funny and caring person. However, living together it's tough. It's almost like living with a machine. He's up at five, hits the gym, heads to the office, then comes back like at 7 pm, reads the news or writes to his correspondence and then heads to bed. His phone is always ringing business, friends, academics, invites to charity events, you name it. It's just very intimidating.

Speaker 1: 1:43

I know a lot of women think that this is an ideal man. It's weird, I think so many men I've met then pushed away from masculine norms. But when you actually meet someone who is in every sense the traditional man, it's frightening. It's like living with a force of nature, someone who is on a mission to the very top. It's not like that. I like to bake cookies with my girlfriends and have brunch with the girls. I want to lay in on most on the weekend. Most of my friends who are girls love to work, but we all have other priorities. To be honest, although a lot of us say we want to be a girl boss, most of us really just want to live a quiet, happy life and have a family. Anyways, I feel like I shouldn't stop him, I should not get in the way. It makes me feel very insecure. Well, that's your insecurity.

Speaker 1: 2:41

I would probably guess that he probably doesn't have those same feelings towards you, that he doesn't feel upset that you want to bake cookies with your girlfriends, that you want to just have brunch with them or that you want to lay around on the weekend. I don't think that. I mean he wouldn't be with you if that was a problem. Now, obviously you're working and you do things, so you do have some priorities. Maybe you're discounting some of the things that you do that look appealing to him. I don't know, because you didn't mention, but there's a lot of people and it's not about getting ahead. I think that you might have an overachiever mixed to trying to be like this power person. Honestly, a lot of people have an intention. They also have a purpose of why they want to do that. They're trying to help something. They're trying to create something. They're trying to change the world in some manner.

Speaker 1: 3:48

I could probably see from what you're saying that he's probably has some kind of mission involved here that maybe you need to ask and maybe you could actually be part of it. What about that? What if you wanted to be part of his high achieving ways of going to the charity events? Because it would be fun, because of the charities that you're part of, that you get to actually change people's lives. What if you got to be a power couple and maybe you see it a little different. Maybe you could look at it as something that you guys could achieve success together and you don't have to be an overachiever or high success achiever like him. You don't have to be this like that.

Speaker 1: 4:35

Working at five to seven, I was an extremely high overachiever. I worked way even more than he did I. I never thought like that about my partners, ever. I, I, I don't believe that I. I Believe in loving people for who they are. I love to encourage people to be the best that they can be.

Speaker 1: 4:58

When I see potential in people, I always tell but I cannot see him probably Saying oh yeah, I, I don't like you, because you, you just like to bake cookies and Just do brunch with your girlfriends and oh, oh, oh. And you know you don't want to be a girl boss. So, yeah, no, I don't think so. Not every man wants a girl boss, somebody who's balling it out there like them. They want because they want peace, they want quiet. Because they're the ones balling it out there, they need something quiet at home too. So I think that you are overthinking this one and I think that you need to get back to the drawing board and communicate with this guy and Really sit down and decide whether or not you two have a future together. So there's no reason why you can't have that talk and if you don't fit his future needs or you're not fitting, he's not fitting yours, that it there's no reason to be together, unless you're just friends and having fun. So, but yeah, give yourself a break, dude, I think you're too hard on yourself and you're probably just what he needs and You're not seeing it. All right, so get out there and start talking to him. I bet you're gonna find out what I'm telling you. All right, good luck to you. All right, good luck to anyone who's in a relationship. They are not easy, but I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it at the end of every podcast.

Speaker 1: 6:30

What's the number one thing that needs to happen? Communication. If you're not communicating, communicating, it's not a relationship. Come on, what are you, friends? Communicate, all right, and about the difficult topics? All right. Good luck. Slant a and taunte to everyone good health and wealth, and If you have any other things that you want to bring to my attention, feel free to email me. Send me a message. I would love to address your topics. All right, take care.